9 Takeaways From “Free Guy” That You Can Apply to Your Life Right Now

I’m not much of a movie person, and haven’t really kept tabs on what’s “out there” since my kids were young and Disney’s “Brother Bear” was playing in theaters.

Priorities shifted, jobs shifted, responsibilities shifted, the world shifted, life shifted.

So when I stumbled upon a movie that pulled me in, lit me up, and got me thinking about us — as individuals and as collections of individuals — in a simple, fun, and refreshing way, I knew I wanted to share my excitement.

In the movie Free Guy, the main character named “Guy” (played by Ryan Reynolds) realized one day that he, his friends, and the people he interacts with daily are just in the background of “life” — they’re NPC’s (Non-player characters) in a video game. Once he realized this, he decided he didn’t want life to happen to him anymore…so he started doing things differently, challenging the status quo and creating a life that he wanted. Of course the bulk of the movie is all about the adventure, CGI, comedy, etc. that helps tell the story of his journey, the obstacles, the “girl”, how he overcomes, yadda yadda yadda — you know, the typical “hero’s arc”, but I felt there was so much more.

Here are 9 empowering lessons that I walked away with:

Possibility is all around you.

Guy and all the “background characters” only saw the life that they were living. But there was a whole other world of things happening around them all the time — they just didn’t see it. All they saw were the occasional “sunglass people” who seemed tough and cool. It wasn’t until Guy took the sunglasses from one of the special people and put it on that he was able to see a whole other world that was happening around them.

Possibility was always there, he just didn’t see it. It was only when he changed the “lens” through which he looked was he able to see the world differently. He had to shift his perspective in order to even see what was possible. And even though in real life it’s not as simple as physically changing glasses to see possibility, the concept is the same. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at, change.

Don’t get caught up in the “Why me”.

When Guy found out he was just a background character and decided he didn’t want to live a default life anymore, he didn’t sit there and wallow in all the “why” questions: “Why did this happen to me? Why can’t I be like them? Why am I this way? Why was I created this way?” Etc. NO. He took control over the only things he could — his thoughts and actions. Once he “woke up” and decided he wasn’t going to be in the background of other people’s lives, he figured out what he wanted and what needed to be done in order to get it. It wasn’t, “Oh poor me” it was “Game on!” “What do I want and how am I going to make it happen” is so much more empowering than “I don’t want this. Why can’t I just have that? Why is it so hard?”

He didn’t see life as happening to him. He didn’t feel sorry for himself. He didn’t get stuck in his own muck. Now that he was able to “see” clearly, he saw the opportunity to “create” the life he wanted. Sure, he got beat up and banged down — and he knew that was part of the experience because he got back up and kept moving forward. Every. Single. Time.

You can still level-up without having to do what everyone else is doing.

When Guy needed to get more points to “get the girl” he had to level-up. He was told (and he also saw) that most people “level-up” by destroying others to take their belongings. You know, it’s just what you do to get ahead. But Guy didn’t want that. It was against what he believed in. So even though everyone around him was killing, fighting, destroying, stealing, robbing — he didn’t partake in any of that. He took a stand for what he believed in — which is helping people, not harming them — and found a way to gain points and level-up without conforming to the standards of those around him.

“Winning” is not about you

Antwan, the movie villain, is some genius software developer and head of the tech company that released “Free City” — the popular video game that Guy is a part of and that most of our world seems to be playing. He stole the AI source code from other software developers (which is part of the plot so I won’t ruin it for you if you haven’t seen it). He’s also selfish, greedy, dishonest, and short-sighted. His desire to always “win” causes him to make hasty decisions that actually cause his demise.

Guy on the other hand, even though focused on creating a life for himself and living it more fully, soon realized that there was something much bigger than him at stake — so he helped other background characters gain the awareness that he gained so that they too can break free of this default life and create a better future for themselves too.

To him, winning = serving himself AND serving others. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for others and you don’t have to just focus on yourself. Winning is not just about you. It’s not just for you. It’s not a zero-sum game.

This reminds me of two perspectives I’ve read over the years that have stuck with me:

“You know after truly initiating any experience that you are part of a much bigger whole. Life is not about you henceforward, but you are about life” — Richard Rohr.

“True “winners” are multi-dimensional people who lead full and varied lives both professionally and personally. They not only get the most out of every day but they also enrich everyone who comes into contact with them. They have a genuine inner peace and a satisfaction that provides more happiness and pleasure than any amount of trophies, fame, or money.” — Dr. Kerry Spackman

The destination is the journey.

Throughout the story, Guy realizes that who he is becoming, what he is able to do and change, the lives he’s able to touch, all of that — is really what the destination is all about. He had a goal of getting the girl, and things didn’t go as planned. And he got hurt, and disappointed, and sidelined. And yet that didn’t deter him. It didn’t stop him from enriching the lives of people around him.

He was forever changed by the experiences he had along the way. The journey towards his goal transformed and empowered him. By him showing up as his empowered self, even though his best friend, Buddy, couldn’t exactly see what Guy saw, he enriched his life. His passion and vibrance was contagious. And Buddy reminded Guy that even when you feel like nothing’s going right, sometimes all you need to do is take a look around and recognize the people that support you, that are with you, that you get to experience life with, and really feel the beauty of that. To breathe life.

Pull back when people aren’t ready.

When Guy first recognized the power he had and the ability to make choices, one of the first things he did was decide that he didn’t want to order his regular coffee. He wanted a cappuccino. His request started freaking people out. It wasn’t part of their norm. They had no idea what a cappuccino was. It became (literally) very dangerous.

Sometimes, even though we want to change a personal choice, when the environment we’re in is not ready for it, it might be a good idea to assess what’s going on and just pull back a bit. And that’s what Guy did. When he sensed the confusion, the alarm, the physical danger, he pulled back and asked for his regular coffee. He walked away and left them with the space to consider what he just proposed.

And in that space, people start to take things on themselves. The barista for example, took it upon herself to research what a cappuccino was and taught herself how to make it. So sometimes just giving space might be a good idea to not only keep the peace, but to also affect change on a larger scale. You have to meet people where they are. If they’re not ready for what you have to offer, step back. And maybe plant some seeds.

Disarm your attackers.

When Dude, the not-fully-developed-video-game-villain was almost going to kill Guy, Guy didn’t use his power to launch some sort of attack on Dude. He could have, but he didn’t. What he did was choose a funny virtual world (within the sunglasses) and placed the glasses on Dude’s face. So all Dude saw were flowers, and colors, and fun stuff. When Guy felt cornered and defeated, he didn’t kill anyone, he helped shift his attacker’s perspective. Granted that’s easier said than done in real life. But the concept is powerful — how the ability to see things differently can totally change how we feel about each other, and what we do to each other.

You can build the new without destroying the old.

When Guy enrolled all the background characters in his new vision and helped them see how they were essentially trapped in a default world, he didn’t rally them to destroy that world. Instead, he encouraged them and led them to create a whole new world. The world that they wanted. The life that they craved. We can do the same. We don’t have to trash anyone or anything that we feel doesn’t serve us. We don’t need to put each other down or invalidate one another just to build a life that we want. We just acknowledge what’s so and start building a new system. It’s even more effective and efficient that way.

Life is just a series of moments.

This was very much an underlying theme. And it was mostly Buddy who vocalized it when Guy was having a tough time wondering if he was real. Buddy helped him realize that even though you don’t know what’s going to happen or sh**’s going down around you, or you don’t understand what is happening or what someone is going through, all he had was this moment. And in that moment they had each other.

And all you have is this moment. And now this one. And this one. Even if what I’m saying doesn’t matter to you, and isn’t real to you, this moment is. Right here, right now. And it’s all I have. It’s all you have.

What are you going to do with your moments?